The Stuff That Happens to You

You can choose to have a great day or a bad day. It is your will to choose.

Yes, things may come against you, challenge you, upset you and royally piss you off but the choice still lies with you. It is said, ‘it is not what happens to you, it is your response to what happens to you’ While this is true; I want to add that it is both what happens to you and it is your response to what happens to you.

If you stumped your toe, your response would be different than if someone walked up to you and punched you in the face!

The first scenario was all on you. No one else was involved with you stumping your toe. There is no blame except you’d probably call yourself an idiot or yell other obscenities. Your first reaction would be to hold it until the first level of pain passes, then look at it to see if you are bleeding and care for it. But the latter scenario is different. Whether you did something to provoke it is of no relevance. The fact is someone put their hands on you and harmed you. Your first reaction is to fight back and protect yourself.

These are two different scenarios but both have ‘happened to you’ yet you would respond differently to each scenario. I submit to you that after your reaction to what happens to you is when it evens out. What I mean is it is at that point that you can make a choice with a clear head. Your emotions are not as charged up. Emotions make things cloudy and you can not respond when you are ‘in your emotions’ because you are not thinking clearly. Get out of the emotion, first and then proceed to respond. You will be more effective.

How do you deal with the stuff that happens to you? Sometimes, you can control what happens to you. Sometimes, you are the instigator for the drama you experience (Be honest!);  Sometimes, you push the envelope a little too far or you engage in something that you were already warned not to do so there are consequences for our behavior, nevertheless, here is a three-point strategy for how to deal with the stuff that happens to you.

The Three-Point Strategy

1. Acknowledge.  You must accept what has happened to you mentally and emotionally. There is nothing that can be done at this point. It happened so deal with it. Be honest with yourself about how it made you feel and its affects on you. Be ‘in’ your emotions at this point only.

2. Adjust. You must get out of your emotions about it. By now, you should have dealt with it. Now it is time to get a fresh perspective. Instead of asking ‘why me?’ look at your posture in the situation. Are you open to change, learn and grow from this experience? Adjust your attitude towards a positive direction and respond to the situation through a new and refreshing lens.

3. Action. You must take action. Glean all that you can from the experience by looking for ways to refine yourself, change up your attitude and those behaviors that are not serving you well. Set goals and objectives that will position you for success. Take action to solidify your resolves and press you forward.

Frenetta Tate is a Certified Women’s Empowerment Coach and Motivational Speaker. She can be reached at 281-756-7657 or via email frenetta@frenettatate.com or visit www.frenettatate.com

Walking The Talk!

I am a Motivational Speaker. I talk a lot. I tell people how to live an empowered life. I speak positively and draw inspiring pictures with my words. All those who call themselves motivational speakers, professional speakers and public speakers paint pictures with their words. Often times, we don’t realize the people we are talking to can’t see what we see, although we speak it in the most understandable way. I have decided to SHOW what I am TALKING about for the next 365 days.

In the next 365 days, I will show you HOW you can live a full, exciting, adventurous life 365 days a year. Yes. 365 days.

I am talking about Real Life. Real Experiences. Real Challenges. Real Growth. When was the last time that you threw caution to the wind and just did something that wasn’t in your affinity to do? How often has it been that you’ve done something on a ‘dare’? When was the last time you challenged yourself to go beyond the normal? Overcame a fear? Did something nice and unexpected for someone else? Blew someone’s mind in a positive way? Touched a life?

All this is what these 365 days will be about; doing things I have never done to get what I have never had, stretching myself beyond my comfort level to show you that you can do it, too. Overcoming fears, touching lives in an authentic, innovative way and showing you how you can still have joy in the midst of it all.

I am a Motivational Doer!  I will show you how to authenticate your life!

I will post each day’s challenge, experience, photo or video here.  FOLLOW ME! and return each evening for updates on my adventures.

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• Five Choices to a Good Day! (tatestake.wordpress.com)

Five Choices to a Good Day!

You can have a good day EVERYDAY by making five choices. Everyday will not be free of challenges but you can choose beforehand how to overcome them by:

1. Making conscious faith-filled decisions;

2. Viewing all challenges as opportunities;

3. Keeping your mind focused on positive things;

4. Having the right attitude, even in the face of adversity and

5. Encouraging yourself throughout the day.

Visit http://empoweryou365.blogspot.com/. FOLLOW ME and I will show you how!

Frenetta Tate is a Certified Women’s Empowerment Coach and Motivational Speaker. She can be reached at 281-756-7657 or via email frenetta@frenettatate.com or visit www.frenettatate.com

Teachers Who Are Making Positive Impacts: TAKE A BOW!

I want all teachers who are making positive impacts, whether you are K-12, college professors or administrators – Take a Bow!

I love this quote by Martin Luther King, “The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.”  In my lifetime, from high school to college; I have had these kinds of teachers; who taught me HOW TO THINK and to go a bit deeper than most in those thoughts. I am very appreciative of Ms. Welch, Ms. Breuer, Ms. Sims, Ms. Martin and all of the Coaches and Administrators who planted tiny seeds of positivity in my life. They took the TIME and saw something great in me. I am grateful. I am sure they did not know what I would grow up to be but they did their best, gave their best and taught me well. – THANK YOU!

I appreciate all educators, whether you are K-12, college professors or administrators. I encourage you to accept all of the appreciation today. Don’t say, “Oh, I’m just doing my job” because not everyone can do what you do. Not everyone is gifted in this way and quite frankly, not all educators have made positive impacts. So, to those who have; TAKE A BOW and BE PROUD of three key things:

1. You’ve impacted a life whether you see the evidence or not;

2) You’ve planted good seeds that hopefully will grow strong and wide; and

3) You have the opportunity every single day to be a part of turning the tide of educational lack into educational abundance for many.

I celebrate each of you!

Frenetta Tate is a Certified Women’s Empowerment Coach and Motivational Speaker. She can be reached at 281-756-7657 or www.frenettatate.com.

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